George Lewis, MD, PGY1, Department of Family Medicine, UCI School of Medicine.
George Lewis, MD, first-year resident in the Department of Family Medicine shares some of his thoughts about the pandemic.
I am not the best at impromptu speaking, but I do want to share what I have been thinking about being a first year resident in COVID-19 times.
I am extremely grateful and blessed for being at a program where I feel supported. I cannot stress how much this means to me. I do not want to speak for all of my class but I like to think we all share this feeling. I am so happy to feel I have good friends at the program even as these friendships are barely blooming. I appreciate harvesting resilience from human connection.
Starting residency in the midst of this very uncertain time calls for a barrage of emotions only akin to what one would find in Pandora’s box.
Medicine is (and has always been) very exciting and the pandemic is a source of creativity at various levels. Humanity is discovering how to navigate from politics and economics to biochemistry and virology. Specifically in our field, residents have never been called into action the way we all are now. We have to be creative about how we schedule, re schedule, organize. We have to find new ways to be courageous, be energized and stay joyful.
I also have pondered how having something dangerous constantly knocking on our door forces us to be more aware and present. I don’t mean to go super spiritual with this particular thought but can’t help to notice the opportunity to practice mindfulness, self knowledge and self awareness. We have to be extra careful to be able to protect ourselves while helping others.
Personally, I choose to be brave AND to have fear. I have noticed I can’t choose between one or another. Therefore, I must learn to accept both feelings as confusing and contradictory as this may seem. It is not the first time I am forced to go beyond my comfort zone. It is here where I can grow professionally and compassionately.
I believe firmly that what we experience doesn’t matter as much as our relationship to what we experience. And I do mean to go super spiritual with this thought. Meditating every morning brings me closer to this inner resource of acceptance. As residents I feel we are uncertain all the time while at the same time we voraciously seek the truth (evidence based medicine, best practices, etc). Add Covid19 uncertainty to the equation and we have a whole lot of extra acceptance to yield and a whole lot of extra truth to seek.
To end this reflection, I want to share this motivational quote: “Pursuing meaning is better than trying to avoid discomfort.”
George Lewis, MD, Resident Physician, Department of Family Medicine